Salvation (The Dissociation of the Artist Part IV)

Salvation, the upcoming album by Jessica’s band, should not exist. Jessica stared death down seemingly hundreds of times over the past few years, either unintentional or otherwise. They descended into madness. They lost their way. And now, we are a mere 25 days from the release, and it’s truly a miracle that this musical work exists in a final form.

I have a confession to make. I don’t remember writing any of the material for this release. I cannot tell you when riffs were formalized nor lyrics written. The narrative in my head has always been that this was about a spiritual and painful journey away from God and toward self-industry. And that much is still true. What I didn’t know is that such was really the candy coated outside for the true subject matter of Salvation: a thinly veiled memoir of the most improbable of lives.

We set the stage for our story in the past three posts. What we haven’t revealed is the punchline of our own Salvation. Echoes from the past traveled into the future and hit Jessica in their then-present. They became fully realized and became whole through unity rather than integration. And then they had to listen to the final form of their greatest work but as a finally aware system … and what they found shook them to their core.

It turns out that most of Salvation is NOT about religion and the crimes committed in the name of such, though certainly a fair bit of Salvation is representative of that. Salvation is far more than that. As the album cover alludes to, this is really about self-actualization and self-determination, something that had been stolen from Jessica for over fifteen years. How fitting that they became aware just before the final mixes were revealed to the band for consideration.

I have listened, according to my music app’s counter, to these songs 100s of times over the past six months. Probably 1000s of times. On a large level, I still didn’t quite understand what that unremembered dream state wrote in terms of music and lyrics, though they always sounded coherent and badass. The bassist, Venya, wrote regarding his process of contributing bass

As a side effect, this means I sometimes have no idea what the song is actually about until months later. In fairness, Jessica also has this problem, albeit for entirely different reasons.

And I don’t know that I had enough awareness yet to fully understand that this was not an album about religion after all until Lyra pulled me aside to ask me (paraphrased) “ready to hear your song about your plurality?” and it took me aback. Half of this fucking album was written by a part of us that could not impart memories but had enough wisdom to send a message into the future so that Jessica could one day understand. This album is really an album about dissociation.

This album should not exist. We should not exist. The system should not be realized. But here we are, writing on a computer at some time on November 3, 2023 UTC that it does exist. By the most improbable of miracles, a document has been created that conveys the absolute horrors of a life lived in a permafog, but the fact that they get to write about that fact means that hope has been realized. And if we weren’t all but completely mad by this point, that realization should push us over the edge. But we are stronger now than we have been in fifteen years. I may wear a dead woman’s name, but I now realize that my role is to soldier on and fight on, righting the wrongs done to us and to others, and art that can inspire is the way I choose to refuse and resist the tendrils of Fate. By Chance I am alive, and Fate has nothing on me, the system, no part at all any more.

Salvation was never about straying from God, this album was about a personal Salvation that we will never forget. This is true Salvation through realization and actualization that was considered long surrendered to Fate.



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